What just happened?

Wow! I did it again didn't I? How did nearly two months go by without me writing a post? And this time I wasn't even doing housework.

Nor was I spending time at guru camp. Well actually that's not quite true, I actually did go to the 2nd installment of Guru camp, but, um... I...sort of... got kicked out.

Oh okay, it was really my decision to leave, but honestly I'm pretty certain the teacher was glad to see me go. And he did suggest that maybe I should reschedule (read: leave).

Here's the down low. It's kind of embarrassing, but I'll tell you anyway. Day 1 of Guru camp part 2, and the class is waiting 3 hours for the teacher to show up. Why he was late wasn't explained to us, so we just sat around meditating, or in some cases sleeping. Me? I couldn't figure out what to do, so I decided to lie down a bit and see what happened.

I spread out my brand new fancy schmancy Target yoga mat on the hard ballroom floor and laid down staring at the ceiling for inspiration. I spent maybe a total of 15 minutes, no wait probably more like 5 minutes "relaxing". Then I got bored. With nothing better to do I got up intending to take a stroll around the lobby.

That simple little move of changing positions from lying down to standing up, put me on disability for another 3 months.

Yep I hurt my back. And the class hadn't even started! Instantly I was limping around the room for the rest of the night.

It was even more amusing the next morning when I fell down during Yoga practice. This would have been understandable had we been doing some intense yoga positions that contort one into a pretzel, but the sad truth was, we were just standing up.

That was my cue that I wasn't going to make it through Guru Camp this time. See each day is like 13-14 hours a day, and it's in silence, which has nothing to do with my back, but honestly how can you not talk for a week? It's not just talking either, it's communication of all kinds. Yes that means emails and text messages. I could probably not speak for that long, but no emails would have me depressed beyond belief. Sad isn't it?

Anyway my back wasn't going to handle that much mediation and yoga so I decided to call it quits. Especially after I got busted for leaving the room, during one of the exercises. I could not get it through to them, that sitting was BAD for me.

So there you have it Guru Camp part duo. Not as cool as the first time, but I can't really judge it properly since I was in pain and couldn't participate.

Now all this, was leading up to me trying to tell you what I have been doing these past 2 months. See what I mean about not being able to talk? Silence would not work for this one. I have lots to say.

Okay the real reason for my absence is this. I'm cheating on my own blog. I know! I can hardly believe it myself. I created a new one and have been spending time with it.

Oh the shame and guilt is strong, but I really feel that is what I have to do.

The new blog is an art blog.

Why am I hearing crickets?

I do art. Sometimes. A couple times a year at least.

Heh.

I've actually started to become very involved in the arts, and have been working on an art journal and some canvases. I'm trying to put together enough stuff to show next May. Which would be tres cool if I could pull it off.

So if you all don't hear from me, now you know why. I'm covered in paint and can't get to the keyboard. Or when I can, I'm typing away on the new blog showing off my latest piece.

I figure with being on disability, I might as well pursue this hobby right? Who knows it may turn out for the best.

Wish me luck!!

Oh yeah and the image at the top of this post, is one I did in my journal last week for an art challenge.

Now if you'll excuse me, I must paint.

Oh wait, did you want the address to the new site? Ha ha. Thought I wasn't going to give huh? Well here it is in case you feel the need to see some culture, instead of reading my every so amusing blog.

Heh.

What? I can dream can't I?

I went to Guru Camp!

OMG! Are you as shocked as I am?

No, not the fact that I went to Guru Camp, although that in itself is an interesting story, which of course I'll tell you in just a second.

What I mean is that I'm actually writing another post!!

It's hard to believe so much time has gone by without updating all my adoring fans on the facinating details of my life. Yet it's true.

One would think with all this time off, away from the computer, that I would actually get something productive done.

Oh how I really wish I could say that were true, and rattle off a long list of all my amazing accomplishments.

Sad to say, the honest truth is I've been doing a lot of ...

Housework.

Oh and gardening.

Did I just hear a gasp?

Not sure if that was aimed towards the fact that I actually spent over a month cleaning my house rather than blogging, or the fact that I, a convicted plant killer, took up gardening.

I guess it could go both ways huh?

Anyhoo, I'm back. You're thrilled right?

Now, I bet you all are wondering who the fellow in the picture is right?

Well I'll tell you, that is my happy little guru. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. Not to be confused with the sitar player of the same name.

Because believe me, I really stood out in class, when I excitedly announced, "Really? Ravi Shakar is coming! I love his music!"

Um yeah. I'm the American dork.

Here's how it all started. My sister in-law who was taking part two, told my husband and I about this course offered through the Art of Living.

The class was everynight for 5 days, and totaled 20 hours.

It promised all kinds of goodies. Relaxation and breathing techniques to reduce stress and anxiety, yoga, meditation, and words of wisdom from the main man himself.

Hold on a minute. Did I see, reduction of anxiety?

Some of you may or may not know, that I suffer from anxiety every since I was put on disability last year. Sometimes it's bad enough that I get panic attacks.

Naturally this class sounded perfect for me. Haven't I always heard that to relieve anxiety and stress you should breathe properly and meditate?

But haven't I always been too lazy to do it?

Seems like I should take this opportunity.

The only catch was, I didn't want to. I was afraid to go, because I thought I would have anxiety being in class so long.

Yeah. You heard that right.

Naturally I pulled every card I could think of not to go, from the cost per person, to my diabetic cat.

All the roadblocks I set up were neatly knocked down by my husband.

So I gave in and went. The first day was six hours long! One of my fears was not being able to leave the room. I hate disrupting people and felt it would be rude if, say I had to use the restroom. Considering my bladder is roughly the size of a grape, I have to go. Often. Plus they wanted us to drink 3 liters of water everyday! You might as well conduct the class in the bathroom, cause that's where we all will be if we drank that much.

The morning of the first day, I awoke in terror. Something horrifying occurred to me. What if, they make us be all touchy feeley with each other, and share our feelings with the class?

I hate speaking in public! I would be mortified should this happen. When I shared this fear with my husband he assured me that they wouldn't dare do such silly things.

So we walk into class.

Not only did we have to speak in public, and share our feelings all five days, but we also had to do crazy things, like dance by yourself in the middle of the room, while the rest of the class is holding hands in a huge circle around you.

Not everyone was had to do it, but of course my nervousness stood out like a beacon, and I was the second one picked. I nearly died of embarrassment.

If I had been properly inebriated I would have let it all hang out and put on, quite a show.

Unfortunately I was sober and forgot every single dance move I ever knew. Including the sorry white man side to side shuffle. So I stood there frozen giggling like an idiot til my turn was up.

Yes it is funny. Go ahead and laugh. I certainly am. Now.

I actually loosened up quite a bit after the first day. I was forced to push the boundries of my social limits. That was not in the brochure!

The rest of the class, we learned fancy breathing/relaxation techniques.

Why haven't I tried mediation before? It's like a bonus nap! Talk about relaxation. I can barley walk straight when I'm done. Love it! In fact it was during meditation tonight that I though to write this post!

Did I use enough exclamation points in that last paragraph?

We also learned a top secret breathing skill, which I can't divulge. He-he.

Seriously though. That? Freaked me out. It is basically controlled hyperventalating.

Um.. for someone with panic attacks, this is a no-no. Needless to say I had a major anxiety attack. And I'm thinking, I paid money for this? I can have one for free anytime I want.

I was very discouraged after that day. I did not want to go back. And it was only the second class.

But you know what. I did. I faced my fear and sat through another session. Only I did it on my own terms, and it worked out just fine.

Basically I had a great time. Once I got used to the heavy breathing, (sounds naughty doesn't it?) and talking about feelings with strangers I found that I was having fun.

And after each class we got to go to Satsang, which was a huge room filled with 1000 people, singing, dancing or meditating, and listening to Sri Sri talk.

This was one of my favorite parts. I love listening to him. The things he said, I was able to apply to my life. Oh and the bonus is, he's very funny!

Apparently we were lucky that he was there. I guess he doesn't go to all the classes, but this was part of his US Tour.

I learned so much through this course, and I use the skills everyday. Believe me it has helped. A lot.

I now know how to relax.

I know it's hard to believe, but I actually feel...

At peace.

Ommmmm....





Authors note: If the spacing on here Is all wacky, I apologize. Blogger is doing some weird stuff, and won't let me fix it.

Can you tell I'm procrastinating?

Last weekend I decided I was going to earnestly sit down and try to write. In this case, blogging didn't count. Too bad, because that is somehow so easy.

I mean I wanted to write a book. All my life I have felt there is a writer and an unwritten book lurking around in me somewhere. I just needed to find a way to extract them.

The perfect opportunity came last year, when I hurt my back, and was on disability for several months.

Tired of watching TV and reading (I know I never thought the day would come either), I decided to write. I did pretty good too. For me that is. I probably only wrote about 30 pages. But those were 30 pages I didn't have before. Now I had something to work with.

Considering I was on disability for almost a year, and unable to do anything remotely physical, It would not be unreasonable to think that I may have finished that book.

Unfortunately this would be wrong.

I never got past those 30 pages. Oh sure, I thought about it. Plenty of times. But every time I had a chance to type up a few pages, I blew it off to do something more pressing, such as laundry, washing the dishes, feed the cats etc.

Somehow all those boring old household chores needed to be done. Like now. Eventually too much time went by and I lost interest.

Until last week.

I had the urge again, and it was strong.

I decided to dedicate my four day weekend to writing. (Yes I really do get four days off every week. It's pretty cool, and I know I'm lucky, but that doesn't stop me from complaining all 3 days that I do work).

So last Wednesday, I woke up ambitious and ready to go. I had four empty days ahead of me. It was perfect. I sat down at my desk, opened my laptop, clicked open a brand new word document, and set to work.

Four days later, I still had a blank word document. Not sure what happened exactly, except I may, possibly have spent too much time reading scandalous comments bashing Ambercrombie and Finch, reading blogs, emailing, eating, updating Facebook, searching for long lost friends, eating, sleeping, emailing, reading blogs....

Um. Yeah.

Now it's the weekend again, and I told myself I would seriously write this time. Starting today. In fact I'm supposed to be in my room at my desk right now. Writing. Seriously.

Instead I find that I'm emailing, reading blogs, eating, updating Face Book, and blogging once again. Ok that's it. I'm finished now. I will go sit at my desk right now, and write.

Seriously.

Right after this nap...

I'm one of the crazies!!

Yeesssss!! I got the highest score on the neurotic test. Feeeeww!

And I didn't even cheat!

I have to admit, I was a little worried while taking the test. I mean what would happen if I turned out only slightly neurotic? I would have to change my blog title to Tales of a Slightly Neurotic 30 Something. Or sort of neurotic. Or worse, wanna be neurotic. This whole thought process terrifies me, so I'm extra special glad I scored so high.

Whoa. Does the last paragraph make me sound even more neurotic-y?

So the scores are in and I have to say, I'm pleased, yet somewhat surprised with the results. I scored high in anxiety and neuroticism, actually I tied on those, no surprise there, but I scored highest on akwardness. Hmmm...



Your Score: The True Neurotic!!!

You scored 68 anxiety, 85 awkwardness, and 68 neuroticism!

(I did not make the font that big. It came that way. Very enthusiastic isn't it?)

Congratulations, you are The True Neurotic, (thank goodness!!!) your nail-biting, conflict-avoiding worrier, you. (true, except for the nail biting bit). You're plagued by self-doubt and anxiety, which makes social activity hard--even though you may be well-liked, you feel under a storm of silent criticism. (It's like they can see into my brain. Wait. They can't can they? Wait... who made this test?)


It doesn't help that people give you funny looks for organizing all your pens by color or sharpening your gnawed pencils to a delicate point. (Yes but if they are color coded, you can find them so much easier. Plus it's prettier! Although, I may need to stop re-organizing my co-workers desks. Somehow, I don't think they see it as being helpful.)


Your high anxiety score implies that you are unable to relax, worry about the future often, and probably are plagued by irrational fears and self-doubt. (Uh.. Yeah! I am the queen of irrational fears. I'm sure I don't need to remind anyone of my tick phobia right?)

Your high awkwardness score implies that you are socially inept(makes me sound like a loser doesn't it?) probably stick out from the crowd, (Oh gosh I hope not. I'd rather blend in. Though come to think of it, perhaps my multicolored hair, isn't helping me achieve that goal? ) and feel uncomfortable in large groups of people, such as at parties. (Well yeah, that's because everyone is looking at ME. Again maybe I should rethink the multicolored hair. Perhaps this is why I have trouble making friends?)

Your high neuroticism score implies that you exhibit neurotic behaviors (Absolutely!!) --probably organization (True), fanatic obsessions (Also true) (can you recite the entire first LOTR movie?) ( Well maybe not the LOTR movies. Which I love btw. But I can recite certain other cinematic greats word for word, such as the Great Race and/ or any I Love Lucy show. I'm pretty proud of that accomplishment actually.), repetitive mantras, constant checking, or orderly rituals (Oh. That makes me sound OCDish).

So there you have it. Once again proof that I am a true neurotic. Just in case you had any doubt. Obviously I wouldn't want you dear readers to think I was faking it. No. That wouldn't do at all.

This way you have to believe me, because I took a genuine test. And got a high score! Without cheating!

I don't want you to feel left out, so if you feel the need to find out your personal measure of crazy, click on the link below. Don't worry if you don't score as high as I did. Not everyone can be as neurotic as I am, so don't feel bad. I'm sure your special talent is just as cool. I mean that. Really.

Plus, I'm obviously gifted in this area, so trying to compete with the master will most likely lead to disappointment.

Besides, It took years to perfect this kind of craziness!

Authors note: For those who take the test and score the same or higher than me.. we should probably talk. Really. I would love to know who my peers are in this area. Maybe we could swap phobia stories!!

Link: The Neurotic Test written by littlelostsnail on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test View My Profile(littlelostsnail)

Did someone yell fire?

Well today has been most interesting. And it's only half over!!

So I'm sitting in the movie theater, and all of a sudden I smell smoke. Actual smoke!

This is very disconcerting knowing that there is a large raging forest fire in the area, and it is now apparently close enough for the smell to seep into the movie theater.

Yes I had a teensy panic attack, but that didn't stop me from finishing the new Indiana Jones movie. Which is pretty good by the way. Last Crusade was better though.

I figured if there was an inferno blazing around us, someone would have at least stopped the movie, and evacuated us no?

Anyway, upon exiting, into the bright sunshine, I was astonished to see huge billows of smoke rising over the mountains. Planes were flying overhead to grab water from the nearest lake 3 miles away.

The sense of urgency was even more pronounced by a lone firetruck blaring it's siren directly behind our car, damn near giving me a heart attack, and causing me to jump a good 4 feet into the air, like I was in some sort of ejector seat.

Not sure how necessary that really was, especially considering what happened next.

Sirens blaring the truck goes speeding past us up the hill at about, oh say, 10 miles an hour. This struck me as funny. Obviously they need to rush to the fire, but the heavy truck couldn't make it up the steep hill fast enough. Kinda like my car, the Black Beast actually. Even funnier, was that cars were whizzing past the truck at about 50 miles an hour.

The fire is close enough now, that the air smells like a giant bbq, either that or smoked Gouda. I can't decide. The fact that I'm hungry, and have been thinking about smoked cheese since the movie, may or may not be a factor.

There isn't an official report yet on how the fire started, but of course I've heard plenty of rumors. One such rumor was that a routine burn got out of control.

Not surprising if this was the case, as I have seen too many instances of this happening in my neighborhood alone.

Honestly, people, how do you not know that burning in windy weather in the mountains will lead to bad things?

In fact controlled burns should be banned altogether in the mountains. I don't understand why no one with law making authority can see that burning fires, on purpose, in the mountains, with lots of trees, which are very flammable, could be considered a hazard.

It really isn't difficult to understand folks. Should you need more help, please refer to a previous post of mine here for more education, I mean information.


Here's another kicker. We are currently trying to get homeowners insurance. For most people this is as easy as apple pie. For us mountain folk, not so much. Every year we get dropped due to the fact that we live amongst the trees and therefore in a fire hazard.

Finally, yesterday we signed the prospective new home owners insurance papers, hoping, praying that we will be approved.

Um, today? With this fire in our area? That has been declared a state of emergency by the Terminator himself? Well ... I'm guessing Farmers Insurance won't approve us now. What do you think?

As it is now, the fire is actually south of where I live, but if the wind changes, I'm packing up the cats and heading out of here.

I don't even want to begin to imagine the hugenormous traffic jam there will be to get out of the mountains.

I for one intend to beat the rush.

Everything you wanted to know about me, but where afraid to ask

I know you all are dying to know more about me. Don't be shy. I know it's true.

Well, you are in luck. As it happens, I am one of my favorite, not to mention easiest subjects to talk about ... so, as a good gesture, I am going to post this here tag. Which is, as you may have guessed, all about ME.

Lest you mistake that I'm actually popular or something, I have to admit, I stole this tag off Lady Banana's site. But don't worry it's okay, she said I could. Honest.

1. Last movie you saw in a theater?

The Spiderwick Chronicals.

2. What book are you reading?

A walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson. Excellent read by the way. Recommended by another blogger after reading my backpacking post.

3. Favorite board game?

Trivial Pursuit. Cause I love useless facts and looking smart.

4. Favorite magazine?
I don't really read magazines, since I've discovered the internet. But one that I always read in the bathroom is Fine Cooking.

5. Favorite smells?

New tires, chocolate, baking, bacon.

6. Favorite sounds?

The flowing creek in my backyard, waterfalls, and rain.

7. Worst feeling in the world?

So far that I know of, vertigo, headaches, and cramps.

8. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up?

D'Artagnan (my cat) stop hitting me!

9. Favorite fast food place?

Depends on what I want. If it's a milkshake then Jack in the Box, Fries, McDonalds, Hamburger Carls Jr., Mexican Taco Bell.

10. Future child’s name?

Emily and Madison. Yes I will have girls. I insist on it.

11. Finish this statement. “If I had lot of money I’d….?

Travel, Buy another home closer to family and friends, and finish school.

12. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?

Do my cats count?

13. Storms - cool or scary?

Can be very scary if wind is involved. And lightening. I live near too many trees.

14. Favorite drink?

Apple Juice, Orange Juice, Hot chocolate, and coke. What? I don't do well with favorites. I have lot of them. I also don't do well with decisions.

15. Finish this statement, “If I had the time I would….”?

Not sure, since I actually have a lot of time, but don't use it wisely. I should change the statement to say..."If I had a ton of determination, or is it willpower, or maybe it's focus, I would...

Now I bet you are wondering what I'm going to say now aren't you? Well let's see if I had all that I would write a book, and finish school.

16. Do you eat the stems on broccoli?

Absolutely NOT! They're icky.

17. If you could dye your hair any color, what would be your choice?

Since I already do that, here's a run down of the color choices for the next 3 months (that's how long it lasts), Blond on top, hot pink below, 2 different purples below that, and dark brown underneath, and in the back. Otherwise known as Rainbow Bright.

18. Name all the different cities/towns you’ve lived in?

Oh my gosh, we could be here all day. Oh well here goes...Macon, San Diego, Cupertino, Sunnyvale, Mountain View, Milpitas, San Jose, El Granada ... There are more, but really, I'm sure you're bored by now.

19. Favorite sports to watch?

I don't.

20. One nice thing about the person who sent this to you?

No one sent this to me. I stole it. Sort of. But I got this from Lady Banana's site, who is really cool, and if you want to read a good, and entertaining blog head over here.

21. What’s under your bed?

Cats and I think handcuffs. Kidding about the handcuffs. I think.

22. Would you like to be born as yourself again?

I think so, but I would want a flatter stomach, different jaw structure so I don't look like a horse or ape when smiling, and I would do a few things differently.

23. Morning person, or night owl?

Given my propensity for staying up til 2 or 3, I'd say night owl. Or I suppose I could be considered a morning person. Very early morning that is.

24. Over easy, or sunny side up?

Scrambled!

25. Favorite place to relax?

In my pool or creek, on the couch with my laptop, or bed. Oh wait, just one place?

26. Favorite pie?

Banana Cream or make that chocolate cream or Boston Cream or...

27. Favorite ice cream flavor?

First of all, how the heck do I pick just one? Baskin Robbins alone has over 31 flavors. Considering ice cream is probably my favorite dessert, picking one flavor is asking a lot! I can't even do that when I order it. I always get two flavors. Ugh. Okay. ONE of my favorites is Chocolate and Peanut Butter. Delish!

28. Of all the people you tagged this to, who’s most likely to respond first?
Since I wasn't tagged in the first place, I don't feel I should tag someone else..so I'll do what Lady Banana did, and whoever wants to take this tag can...Enjoy!

Tick Mountain

If you are a frequent visitor to my blog, you are likely already aware of my deep aversion towards ticks. That is, if you actually read the posts.

If you just come by for the spectacular scenery, and or Entrecard drop, then you probably don't realize how much I hate them. Then again, you probably aren't reading this, so it really doesn't matter.

If you are new to the area however, and stopped by because of my outstanding blog name and or avatar (for those social networking users) then, Hi there and welcome! By the way ticks scare the bejeebers out of me!

Just so you know.

Anyhoo, this little phobia of mine has become quite dangerous and is very likely to get me into trouble sometime. Let me give you an example of what I mean.

Last summer I was driving to the grocery store. Earlier that day, I had been on a hike, and as it was getting cool out, I had put on a black sweatshirt (the color is important here).

About halfway to the store, I am stopped at a stop sign and notice something moving on the sleeve of my sweatshirt.

As I start driving again, I simultaneously inspect my sleeve. Big mistake! It was a tick. Just one lone tick, making it's way down my arm, along my black sweatshirt.

Black.

Ticks are also black.

Do you know what went through my mind after I finished screaming? Yes I did scream. Loudly.

I kept thinking how many other ticks were on me, that I couldn't see because they blended into my black sweatshirt. Not only that, but where did the first tick come from? My neck? My hair? My shirt? My pants?

The possibilities were endless.

I was positively freaking out. Shudders, screams, much flailing of the arms, hyperventilating, and rising panic all ensued, at the thought of the possible hordes of ticks dispersed along my body.

And all this was happening while I driving on a two lane, windy, mountain road.

As I tried to brush the phantom ticks off me, I would swerve into the oncoming traffic, but luckily pull out, just before a car sped past.

Sensing imminent danger. I hastily spun my car around, and sped home as fast as I could. Once there, I ran into the house, shedding clothes along the way, and jumped into the shower.

After a good, thorough scrubbing and inspection, I was convinced that it was safe to leave the confines of the shower, and put clean clothes on. I never went back to the store that night, as I was sure my car was infested with those bloodsuckers.

All that commotion for ONE tick.

And that? Wasn't the worst episode. Allow me to share just what happened on the night of the scariest tick moment of my life.

The scariest tick moment of my life happened when my husband and I were very first dating.

Since we were a new couple, we did wild and crazy things, such as staying up late on weeknights, eat junk food, and go for late night bike rides and hikes.

As usual, one night after work, I made my way over to his place for dinner. It was late, since those were the days when I worked until almost nine every night.

Sometime after dinner, we decided it would be fun to go on a late night hike. There was a nice hiking mountain right near his house, so we drove up there.

Technically, I don't think you are supposed to hike there at night. Especially at 11 pm, but what the heck. Rules were made to be broken right?

The view was spectacular.

The weather comfortable.

The trails, thin and grassy. That should have been my first clue. Long grassy weeds in the hills? Tick city.

Just so you know, I have been on hundreds of hikes, in all kinds of terrain, and I have never once picked up a tick. Never. Ticks were the absolute furthest thing from my mind.

Our walk was lovely, but was stopped short when I felt something crawling up my leg. As I bent down to brush it off, I noticed it was a tick.

Trying to be cool, in front of my relatively new boyfriend, I tried to minimize my panic and flailing arms as I furiously checked myself for more.

When I noticed yet another one, all hell broke loose.

Obviously I didn't mean to shriek so loudly. But, I just couldn't help it. I flew towards the car, and started a massive inspection.

My boyfriend somewhat alarmed by my loss of composure/coolness, followed at a more sedate pace.

The more we inspected me, the more ticks we found.

Clothes started flying off of at a rapid pace. Ticks were hiding in every nook and cranny. Apparently they like armpits.

Soon I was .... well naked. As in buck.

I was still furiously inspecting my body, when I noticed the bright police lights shining in my direction.

Oh dear god.

I flew into the car, but was too scared of my clothes, to cover myself up, so I just huddled with my arms crossed over me, as best I could in the front seat, with the cop light beaming at about a million watts into the car.

I can only imagine what our little scenario looked like. A young couple in the mountains late at night, near a parked car, the woman completely naked. The only odd part would be the fact that my boyfriend was fully clothed, and we were standing outside the car.

At any rate, he managed to talk to the cop and convince him nothing untoward was going on. In exchange for not getting written up for trespassing, and or indecent exposure, we were told to leave. Which we gladly did.

We drove the short distance home, but I was still huddled in the front seat without a stitch of clothes on, as we made our way down the city streets and stopped at all red lights.

Even in my tick panic mode, I was still worried about the best way to cover my stomach so it didn't look too flabby. Some things never change.

Back at his house, I ran from the car to the bathroom at top speeds, lest his roommate and or a passing neighbor saw my nekked self.

Another furiously long shower, and I was deemed to be tick free.

That was almost 3 years ago, and despite the episode last summer, I am actually getting better now, that I live among the little buggers on a daily basis.

Just the other day, I found one, lodged in my jugular.

I really feel like I'm improving.

After all, I only screamed once, and hyperventilated maybe twice ...