Tuesday, April 29, 2008

April showers bring...

Wow. After a particularly dark and stormy winter ... Well dark, because the lights go out over here, with every gust of wind, and or wayward driver that happens to take a corner too fast and slam into either a telephone poll or a tree, thereby causing me to effectively loose track of the point I was trying to make.

Oh right.

The lights go out. A lot.

I probably should have just said that, instead of wasting all that time, explaining why they go out. But never mind what's done is done.

Anyway back to what I was really trying to say. That is, after a particularly dark and stormy winter ... Boy was it stormy. Honest to goodness. This year we had some of the worst storms I've ever seen. Keep in mind too, that I lived through one of Georgia's worst ever hurricane seasons back in 1996. Or was it 1997?

Seriously, I couldn't believe all the damage done in our mountains from winds and falling trees, and of course a boatload of rain.

Houses were smashed, rivers ran high, the streets were flooded, mudslides closed the roads, waterfalls appeared out of the blue, cascading down the mountainsides every where you turned.

Actually the waterfalls were quite cool. I love waterfalls, and to see so many of them in my neighborhood ... well I just wish I had the foresight to take a picture, because if I had done that, then I could actually be sharing those with you, instead of trying to describe the scene. Because obviously, I'm really not doing it justice. Show not tell right?

Let's just say our neighborhood looked something like this ...


Really cool huh?

Anyway, where was I? Oh right, back to the point.

After a particularly dark and stormy winter ... Do you ever find that spelling the word particularly is a particular challenge? I mean I always want to add an E in there somewhere. You know, between the L and Y? Does this happen to you too?

No? Oh. Right. Must just be me.

Alrighty then, off we go.

Now, after a particularly dark and stormy winter ...

Ah hell. What the heck was I going to say anyway? I totally forgot, what with all the craziness in my brain. It feels like my mind is making endless left and right turns without signaling properly.

I'm easily distracted today. This may in part be due to the painkillers I'm on for my back. I'm feeling kinda loopy. Not to be confused with groovy, because I definitely don't feel that today.

Though come to think of it, I'm pretty loopy and easily distracted most everyday, so I really don't have a good excuse.

I really was going somewhere with this post. Honest.

Let's try it again. After a particularly dark and stormy winter, it is with much happiness that I welcome the current spring weather.

Ahhh! I did it. I was going to talk about spring and the nice warm weather we are having.

You know, because I lack anything more interesting to talk about than the current trend in warm weather. Well, besides the Omaha Steak incident, but that's to be revealed in an upcoming post. So I won't go into it now. Stay tuned folks!

Anyhoo, since I've already come this far, I shall continue valiantly until the very end (however painful as that may be). Which could actually be now, since I am in control of everything I write, and could at any moment choose to end this post.

Right this very minute.

Like now.

Right after this last word ...

Ah shucks. I can't leave you hanging like that. That wouldn't be Kosher. Okay, what I'll do for you, if you are still reading this mess, is list the ways to tell if spring is really here.


You know Spring is Here When ...
1. The mosquitoes return. In droves. Haunting you morning and night every time you walk out your door. Heaven forbid you should actually leave the door open to get some fresh air. If by chance you accidentally leave the door open a crack, or you simply forget to shut it while taking a nap (as I did yesterday), the whole mosquito navy will descend upon your stupidity/forgetfulness, and zoom straight inside uninvited. Thus neatly raising your chances of catching West Nile in our own home.

2. The bees are back. Everywhere. Ensuring the risk of being stung while taking out the trash, and or enjoying other outdoor activities. They are also another potential bug hazard when you leave your door open. As much as cats like to chase bugs and eat them.. understandably, this does not apply to bees. If you are like me, there will be no peace until those flying stingers are gone.

3. The raccoons take to washing their food in your pool at night, using the pool filter as a strainer.

4. The banana slugs are gone.

5. When BBQing the raccoons wait for leftovers under the deck, and insist on growling at you every time you walk over them.

6. It's warm outside. But not so hot that simply walking down the road to the mailbox will bring on a bout of heat stroke.

7. It's warm enough that you can use the pool on some days.

8. You don't want to spend time outside during certain hours because of the large bug population.
9. The birds are eating from their feeders again.

And ... The number one bestest reason you know it is spring?

10. After taking a shower, it's warm enough to go outside on the balcony and dry off in the sun!

Ahh, the joys of Spring!

Now Summer...


Omyword! Did I Say That? said...

I've just visited the inside of my own brain, and I like what I saw. Hey, if we can meander through darkness and stormeeness, stormeyness, stormieness, storminess and rain and floods and mudslides and also discuss spelling, well, we've had a good day. I have trouble with y and ey, but I have a rule: when in doubt, add letters. Lots of them.

Meanwhile, I happened to see myself emblazoned on your blog roll and thought, "What an ungrateful whore I am. She's not in mine!" So, I ran right over and added you under WOMEN I LIKE.

Thank you for entertaining me this morning, while you sleep, in your bed, as it floats away, in another flood.


Michael C said...

Yes, spring is finally here! Sadly, that means it's that time where just a drive down the street can make me responsible for 'accidentally' (keep in mind that I used that word when you read this next part, ok?) permanently ending the flight of dozens of butterflies. Seriously, they are everywhere!!!

I thought about drying off in the sun after a shower once, but I figured the old lady next door might call the cops...

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

O that Lisa...such an "ungrateful whore" she is!...NOT! But she is funnier than hell!
Hey - thanks for stopping by with good wishes on my blog-iversary! The badge looks way cool on your blog! :) And I say - bring it on Spring!!! I'm ready!


You are hysterical! I love your writing and all the laughs that you provide me on a daily basi.

Michele said...

omyword!-Lol. I'm glad I was able to entertain. :) btw you are keeping me quite entertained with the French sex ed lessons!

Don't worry about your whorish ways, I forgive you. :) And thanks for adding me!

Michael-You butterfly murderer! I kid. I didn't realize so cal had so many of them down there. We have a beach up here that has tons, and people flock there every season to see them in the trees. It's pretty amazing.

The reason I can dry off outside, is because I don't have any neighbors that can see me. At least I think I don't. Well there was that one guy across the creek today, but luckily I saw him in time!

Olga-Thanks for stopping by! I love the badge and will proudly display it to show my tremendous support to my favorite bodacious bra.

Health Nut-Lol! Thank you!