Oh my gosh! I found out some very shocking news today!
I realize this may be a bit late, seeing as I'm in California and everyone else is hours ahead (except Hawaii of course), but something happened today while I was eating lunch that I felt you should know about.
I hope it hasn't already happened, because of course I want to be the first to tell you!
If it has then I'm sorry, but I had to take a nap after work, and unfortunately I haven't quite figured out how to post breaking news while sleeping.
Anyhoo here we go:
The setting: Lunchtime at a random bagel shop near my work.
I was just waiting for my order to be ready when a fairly normal lady came rushing in to the bagel store.
She was very agitated and saying kept saying "OMYGOD!" "OMYGOD!" over and over again, while looking around in great panic.
Naturally I became alarmed.
What could possibly have happened to have her in such an frenzied state? Did she leave her wallet or keys behind? Perhaps her child?
Maybe she just eaten there and found out she had been poisoned!
Like any concerned citizen, instead of asking if she needed help, I chose to ignore her.
Bagel in hand I'm all ready to leave, but I really have to pee (I hate that!), so I quickly make my way over towards the bathroom.
That's when IT happened.
As the lady turned to make her way out of the store, she announced loudly to everyone that:
"Hillary Clinton is going to die today!!"
I know, I can't believe it either!!
Obviously I felt you should know.
Now that I have this information, what should I do with it? Should I tell someone? (Besides you good folks of course).
Unfortunately I don't know the proper etiquette on who to alert when one finds out that the former first lady, and the current presidential candidate is going to die.
I mean I'm sure the FBI or CIA would like this information right?
Then again, seeing as how this happened at lunch time, and I'm just getting around to posting about this now approximately 8 hours later; perhaps another, more civic minded patron of the bagel shop has been a better civilian then I, and already warned the appropriate people.
I hope so because I'm hungry now and I don't feel like waiting on the phone for an hour trying to get through the CIA's phone system.
Does this mean that I'm a bad person?
*Note: We will return to our regularly scheduled program tomorrow. Good nite everybody!*