Is the Cat on Fire?

So night time in our house is usually quite lively.  Before Emily was born, hubby and I would stay up to 3-4 in the morning,  we are just that way.  We come alive at night for some reason, and I guess we passed that on to Em too.

I knew she was going to be trouble at night when I was pregnant, because right around 1 am she would start some heavy partying, and not quite down til about 2:30 or so.   Luckily I was already awake watching Get Smart, so her gymnastics routine didn't really bother me much.

Totally different story now though.  She has set her bedtime between 1:30-2:30 am.  Not cool.  In fact ever  since we brought her home from the hospital she has been stubborn with her sleep routine.  She hated being swaddled, and would bust loose at any given opportunity.  So we stopped that rather quickly. She didn't want to sleep on her back, so that caused weeks of agony worrying about SIDS, Then she decided the crib wasn't good enough for her, so she started sleeping on daddy in the recliner.  At about 8 weeks I finally got her to start sleeping in her co-sleeper that sat on the bed.  She did pretty well with that until she started rolling over and waking herself up.  Fast forward to now and she still doesn't sleep well on her own, and we are up every 1-2 hours a night. Not only that, but all of us are sleeping in the living room due to remodeling in the bedrooms. 

Needless to say any sleep I can get is a blessing.  Even if it is only 40 min at a time.  The doctor once told us that at her age she should be sleeping 12 hours through the night. And sleeping a total of something like 14 hours a day.  I think I left my jaw on the floor of her exam room.  This child is nowhere close to that.  If she was I'd be a well rested momma. 

Anyway, all this back story is my long winded way of saying Em doesn't sleep well at night and wakes up a lot.  And it also leads me to a story  of  what happened the other night.  Which really has nothing to do with Emily, and a whole lot to do with smoke filled chaos. 

We had just settled Em down for sleep, and she was snoozing pretty well.  I usually stay awake for another 15 to 20 min before I lay down, just in case she decides to trick us, and wake up again right away.  Which she does.  Frequently.

So right before laying down, I decided to put a log on the fire.  I should mention that we live in the mountains, so a wood burning stove is our heat source in the winter and it runs 24 hours a day.  Anyway, I shove a log in through the side door,  and it gets stuck on some stupid bar thing in the front of the stove.  No matter how hard I push and prod and wiggle the log it just won't budge.

Which means I need to open it from the front.  Now I know that A LOT of ash has built up, and I also know from experience that if I open that door, all that ash will come spilling out creating a huge mess that I just don't feel like cleaning at 3 am.  But I can't leave the side door open all night for fear of errant ashes leaping out in the middle of the night and setting the house on fire. 

So I open it as carefully as I can.  But not before I notice the black cat sleeping in the black cat bed right under the door. 

It doesn't take a psychic to figure out what happens next.  Very large embers spill out onto everything. Black fur whizzes past me,  I start cursing, and all heck breaks loose.  The cat bed is smoking and has several holes where the embers have burned their way through.  House is filling up with smoke, the cat is on fire, but I don't notice because I'm busy trying to put fire back in the box where it belongs.  Unfortunately every time I put a shovel full of embers back in, more falls out.  Then there is the matter of the stuck log, which I also try to dislodge to no avail.  More cursing, embers falling, and panic ensue.

Meanwhile my husband asks if the cat is on fire, and I brush it off thinking no way he totally jumped out of the way before anything fell.  He's fine.

At this point I'm more concerned with the smoke that is filling up the house because I don't want Emily to breathe it.  So I open the window, and the front door.  Now I should mention that since Em came along we have pet proofed a few rooms, and because of the cat's new proclivity to pee on anything they want, the kitchen is one of those rooms and we have installed a tall pet gate in the door way to keep them out. 

So back to the fire place I go trying to clean up the smoky fiery mess.  The cat is racing around trying to get out of the house, which I still ignore thinking he sees us up and wants to go outside to the bathroom which at 3 something in the morning he can jolly well use the litter box.  Fed up with me ignoring him, he takes matters into his own paws, and breaks through the pet gate and races outside.  I can't leave him out there because the coyotes will eat him, so I curse about that too. 

With some assistance from the husband, all the fire finally ends up in the right place, and things are calming down.  It isn't until then that I see the black charred ember with cat fur fused to it sitting on a box.  Uh oh.

I race outside to find the cat, but he's hiding under the car and won't have anything to do with me.  Gee I wonder why.

So that is why at 3:30 am I could be found sitting in the driveway freezing my ass off  trying to coax a very scared, singed, and un-trusting cat out from under the car. 

And Emily slept through the whole thing. 

And I have been banned from using the fire place ever again.

Weight loss tips and pregnancy tests.

This is not my real weight.  Just in case you were wondering.

Ok, so get this.  I've lost 49 lbs!!  Without trying.  And eating anything I want!  Wanna know my secret?

Have a child!

Yes it's true, pregnancy made me loose weight.  I'm still not completely understanding it, but the fact is I'm the lowest I've been in 12 years.   The strange thing is, every time I start feeling fatter, like I've gained a pound or five, the scale always reads that I've lost yet another few pounds.

This was proven yet again the other day when I step on the scale, fully expecting to see it jump up at least 5 pounds, because we had been eating out like crazy, and I've been snacking seriously on desserts every single night, like all night, I was floored to see that another four pounds had disappeared!  

Now that's my kind of diet!!

Of course I understood I would loose some weight after having a baby, but to be 29  lbs below my pre-pregnancy weight??  No one told me of that little side effect.  Awesome!   

Yeah Ok, I'm nursing too.  I'm sure that helps a little.  Okay a lot.   But right now I'm choosing to believe that  I can eat everything I want, and still loose weight.  Heh. I wish!   I guess I'll just have to nurse for awhile.  Like forever.

Seriously I NEED my chocolate.  And without nursing, I'm pretty sure I'd blow up right back to where I was when I got pregnant.  Which btw is when I had just signed up for Weight Watchers (not knowing I was pregnant), because my weight was escalating at an alarming rate.  It wasn't really a surprise as I ate what I pleased, and enjoyed many late night chocolate and Cheetos induced meals.   So the fact that I gained a pound or two, alright 16, was hardly a shock.

What was shocking however, was after the first two weeks of strictly following those stupid points, and eating boring crap food, I managed to GAIN weight!   Everyone knows that when you start a diet, the first two weeks rock, as you tend to dump 4 to 5 pounds a week.  Then of course it trickles down to a measly one or two.  But the first couple are what motivate you to keep going.

So you can imagine my dismay as I stepped on the scale each week only to see negative results.  I would beat myself up all day trying to figure out, how the hell one gains weight on a diet.  I mean for crying out loud I was following the rules.  I was eating the right foods.  I did everything right.  Mostly.  Ok I may have cheated once or twice, but still I should have lost a little weight.

Then one night while watching I Love Lucy, the episode where she tells Ricky she is pregnant, something clicked.  And the dialogue in my head went a little something like this... Oh crap.  It can't be.  Actually, yes it could.  But after 5 years?  Anything is possible.  When was my last period?  I have no idea.  Nah, I can't be pregnant... But then again.... 

This back and forth dialogue went on for several minutes before I finally got the courage to get up, and check the calendar to see if I had kept track of Aunt Flo.  I knew I hadn't, but for some reason I thought If I looked long enough, I could somehow miraculously remember just when it was.  Nope.   After a bit of research though, and asking my husband (who had no clue) I finally figured out that, yes indeed I better get a test.

Now most people probably would have run out immediately to the closest store open that late at night and grab a bunch of tests.  But not me.  I waited 2 whole days, before I could actually take it.  I agonized, and worried, and sweated profusely, and cried, and basically freaked out about having to pee on a little stick.

See I was petrified It would actually be positive.  I didn't feel like I was ready to have a kid, let alone give birth to one.  That was the worst part.  Eventually it would have to come out, and not in an easy way.   Even though it would be nine months away, I was freaking out already.  And it hadn't even been confirmed yet.

Needless to say I took the test, and got a big fat positive!  Of course I'm ecstatic.  Now.  That it's all over.  I couldn't imagine not having a child in my life.  It truly is the best thing that ever happened to me.  I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat.   I think.  Of course I would!

At least it explained why I was getting fat.

I think I need to live in a bubble

So this week has been the week of self inflicted stupid injuries, and to add insult to that, I also got fired. By mail.  Is that even legal?

Well ok I'll be fair, I haven't actually been to my place of employment since 2008 when I left on disability, so it's not exactly a surprise.  But still, I find it kind of humorous that it took 2 1/2 years to finalize my position.  And then it was in the form of a letter.  Not even a phone call.  Huh. 

No big deal though, as I do have another job.  Well sort of.  If you call painting, and selling art on a very part time basis a job. Luckily I do.  So there's that.

Plus being a mom to the little Nugget is definitely more than a full time job, and if I could find someone to pay me an hourly wage to change diapers, nurse, and sing 3 little kittens lost their mittens, then I'd be rich rich rich. 

Now, as far as the injuries go, let's just say it might be wise for me to wear protective padding, especially elbow pads.  And since I know you are just dying to find out how klutzy I can be, I will tell you.

The first injury happened while using the restroom.  Don't worry there isn't anything gross to tell.  Just that I was somehow leaving the throne, when upon standing up, I managed to lodge my elbow underneath the corner of the bathroom counter, and smack it pretty darn good.  So good that it hurt the rest of the day.

As if that wasn't stupid enough, the very next morning, I was getting out of bed (well the couch actually, but we are sleeping in the living room due to remodeling going on in the bedroom.)  Anyway, I'm trying to sit up when I wack the OTHER elbow on a TV tray.

That...HURT like some words I don't wish to say, in case any family members stumble across this post and gasp at the fact that I used foul language, even though that language was very appropriate for the time. 

Anyway, I'm pretty sure I screamed silently in paralyzed pain for about 5 minutes, while my husband watched in wonderment as to what the heck was wrong with me. Seriously.  I couldn't speak.   When I finally regained my voice I found that I couldn't even lift my arm.  At all.  I couldn't  put my hair up which unfortunatley I found out when I went to take a shower, so that meant I had to wash it one handed.  So that was exciting. 

And yet, that isn't all, nor is it the stupidest thing I did, because the next day (yesterday) I got the bright idea to clean out the fridge of rotting farm food.  We had some limp carrots and beets that I thought would juice nicely, so I did.

Well I drank that juice, and that was my mistake.  The first sip felt very gritty, but that didn't stop me from drinking nearly half the juice, or putting two and two together for that matter.  I just thought the juice was "earthy" and "nutritious".   Well I guess there was something in that grit (dirt perhaps?) because for the rest of the day, and part of this morning, my throat was irritated, sore, and scratchy. I think I may be the first person to hurt themselves while drinking.  I wish I could get a medal or something. 

In baby news, we introduced the highchair to the Nugget this week, and let's just say she is less then enthused about it.  Most of the time she flat out refuses to use it, and I can't for the life of me coax her into it.  Not even the bribe of food and toys works.

A rare moment in the chair of doom...

As soon as we get her near it, she turns into a rigid little board, and will not bend for anything.  So for now, I feed her standing up, and that is a huge pain!  Sometimes, she lets Mr. Nugget put her in it, but even then she isn't terribly pleased about the situation, and we don't get very far on the feeding front.   Oh well, maybe she will learn to love it.  Though she never did take to the bouncer.  To this day I think she may have used it a total of 5 times, for a total of 5 minutes.  Maybe the next one will like it.

Here's hoping the rest of the week will be easier!  

I'm Baaaaaaack!

Holy cow, it's like entering a time warp!  I just realized it's been nearly 4 years since my last post!!  4 YEARS!  Can you say procrastination much?  Actually I really really hate those "much phrases", but in this case, it totally seemed to apply. 

So let me fill you in on whats been going on around here.  Just in case anyone is still reading....

Did I just hear a cricket? 

Yeah I know 4 years IS a little long to expect a readership still.  Sigh.  Guess I'll just have to start all over again. 

Technically it hasn't been 4 years, and besides, I did start my art blog, which was another version of this one but with art..  Okay probably not nearly as entertaining, but still you got to see lots of cool art... Right?

Well I'm not doing art anymore.  At least not now, I'm raising a child instead. 

Yeah you heard that right. '

A child! 

Which makes me a mom!  The world has gone wacky.  I never ever thought I'd see the day, but lo and behold it came.  

She 8 months old btw.  Her name is Emily.  And she is the master of the universe.  Well our universe anyway.  And yes, you will be reading about her. A lot.  That is, if anyone is still willing to read this dusty ol blog still.

Sooooooo, for some odd reason today I got it into my head to start blogging again.  I've been Facebooking like crazy, but status updates don't always fulfill those writing needs.  You know when one wants to be a writer.  Or thinks they want to be a writer, or just dreams about being a writer but doesn't actually write, but still hopes that someday a book might spontaneously appear and be published, making said wannabee writer rich.   Yeah, that would be me.

Anyway.... I was sitting here thinking I kind of have a life now, maybe I might have something to blog about again.  And then I thought, Oh cool!  I can start a new blog, and make it all pretty, and get tons of people to follow me, and be all popular and... and, then I couldn't get past the first question.  "What is your blogs name?"  I hate that part. Because, I don't know. It's not something I can come up with on the fly.  What I  really want to do is design it. That's the fun part.  And writing it.   Naming it?  Eh.  Not so much.   

So after pondering the name thing for about 15 minutes and coming up with nothing, I gave up, and clicked back to this trusty ol blog and started re-reading my posts.  And, you know what?   Darned if it wasn't exactly what I was going to do with the new blog.  Write about me.  Why the heck start all over, when I already had a blog with loads of posts?   And so here I am.  Again.  Maybe if you are lucky I'll stick around for awhile...

Did someone say SALE?

Hey everyone!  I thought I'd do another celebration today to celebrate getting 100 blog followers, AND  hitting 400 Facebook Fans!!  Woo Hoo!  As a thank you, I'm running a SALE in my Etsy store. Please stop by and see if there is anything you like.  :)

If you want to buy anything, just use this coupon code LUVMYFANS at checkout and you will get 20% off your purchase!  

I'll be running this sale until April 1st, so hurry up and shop!! 

Okay here is the shop link...

http://www.etsy.com/shop/mfauss?ref=si_shop


Hope to see you there!

Babies, blogs, paintings, and fears.

Oh boy.  As if I needed yet another reason to stay on the internet and suck up all my time. I just discovered the world of "mommy blogs".  Since I'm about to be a mother, today I got the brilliant idea to join some mom groups, and check out some cool mom blogs. 

Well.  It's been a few hours, and I'm still reading.  Yikes!  I really really should be working or cleaning tonight, but I managed to waste so much time, that now I have no desire to wash dishes, vacuum, do the laundry, tweet, list any new products, read Etsy forums, or paint.  All I want to do is find more blogs to entertain me, and watch Get Smart.  Gosh I'm getting lazy in the 3rd trimester.   Holy Moly, it's the 3rd trimester already!!  I can not believe how fast time flew.  I keep thinking I have many more months to go, yet I only have a couple.  

And here's something interesting about me, most of you probably don't know.  I've had a life long fear of hospitals.  I mean really fearful, like I don't like looking at them even.  Yet, in June I will be staying in one!  Oh my goodness, I just can't believe it, but unless I'm lucky enough to have a very quick birth on the way to the big scary building I really can't get out of it.  I went in the other day to see where I'm supposed to check in, and got my forms but that was all I was all I could do for the day.  I'm hoping to acclimate myself to them before the big day. 

At least at the end of my hospital visit in June, I'll get a prize!  As the time draws closer and closer, I'm super duper scared, but at the same time, I'm really looking forward to meeting our little girl.  I really think we will have a good time together, and I absolutely cannot wait to dress her in all the cool clothes we bought.  :)  But I was a little bummed when I found out they don't draw until a few years old. Poo.  I was totally looking forward to arts and crafts time.  I really really hope she likes getting messy too like with paints, because If I end up having a mini Felix Unger on my hands, I don't know what I'll do.  Only time will tell. 

btw the elephant painting you see above, is Elinor. A mixed media 12x12 painting on canvas.  She may or may not be related to Ellie.  And the original Ellie lives in New York now, so they don't get to see each other like they should.  :)  And, if you don't already know this, Elinor can be found kicking it over on Etsy .

And thanks again to all you guys who participated in my giveaway.  I'll be sending prizes out soon.  Some I need to make, like the necklace, but I'm hoping to get the print, cards, and postcards out tomorrow. 

Giveaway Winners!!

Well I'm so sorry It's taken this long to announce the winners.  I just haven't been home much, and I had to wait a bit for my husband to be able to edit the video showing my trusty studio assistant picking out the names.  He was a little less cooperative this time, and it took quite a while for him to finally get around to business, but eventually he did.  Check out the video to see who won...

Congratulations to those who won, and thank you all for participating!!